Circle of kidlit author friends expansion ... or not

Setting: A library-based author event earlier this year.

Time: The latter portion of "set up" time, prior to the doors opening to the public.

An author who said she writes young adult novels walked up to my booth and picked up my display copy of Society of the Sentinelia. She read the back cover. Her face lit up. She said she loved the description and then added how much she loved the covers of all my books. She went on to say that she also writes fantasy. 

My face beamed as my mouth lost its ability to contain a grin. My circle of kidlit author friends was about to widen. I pictured us meeting for coffee, brainstorming, critiquing, and otherwise supporting each other on our creative journeys.

But before I could get a word in—she was super chatty—she dropped a question, "Would you consider trading books?" My face shifted from giddiness to confusion. She added, "I didn’t bring any money to the event, but thought it would be a great way for us to connect." 

My mouth went dry. In my stunned state, I choked out that I would think about it. The flood of awkwardness drove her back to her booth. 

I turned to my husband—who also serves as my roadie and publicist—and bounced my excuses off him. "This is a bring-your-books-to-sell event," I stuttered. "I have to make sure I have enough inventory for sales before I give any away, right?"

He responded with, “Yeah. Yeah, that’s right.”  The unexpected exchange left him speechless, as well. 

I felt terrible. My future critique and coffee buddy needed an explanation. I planned to visit her table, apologize for my surprised reaction, and explain my inventory concerns. I don’t bring many books to these types of events. Books are heavy. I only bring what I predict I can sell. I was going to assure her that if I had a book at the end of the event, I’d happily trade books. 

But before the event officially started, my plan abruptly changed. Not five minutes after she left my booth, she visited the booth next to mine. Then she excitedly skipped past my booth again, back to her booth. She passed by me once more--this time with a fistful of cash. The same person who told me she brought no money to the event eagerly dropped a few bills to buy a book from the author next to me.

I was thrilled for the author next to me. He'd made a sale before the doors to the event ever opened.

Meanwhile, the sensations of guilt and embarrassment I'd felt moments before dissipated like fog under the summer sun's rays. She'd lied to me. I don't like it when people lie to me.

I never did visit the YA fantasy author's booth to offer an apology. I did not trade books with her at the end of the event. I did not expand my kidlit author friend circle that day. But that's okay, because I have an awesome circle of kidlit author friends that are supportive, kind, generous, and honest.